The Corporate Professor

http://www.iasc-culture.org/THR/THR_article_2012_Spring_intro.php

A Doctor, a Lawyer and a Mathematician about Mistresses.

"There are three men in a bar, a doctor, a lawyer, and a mathematician ... and they are discussing whether it's better to have a wife or a ... mistress. The doctor says, "It's much better to have a wife because you work all day, you come home at the end of the day, you want to have a steady, settled family life." And the lawyer says, "No, no, no, no, no. It's much better to have a mistress because maybe for the first 5, 10, 20, 30 years you'd like to have a steady family life, but if you change your mind, it gets incredibly complicated, so it's much, much better to have a mistress." And they're going back and forth, they can't agree, so they turn to the mathematician. "What do you think?" And the mathematician says, "It's better to have a wife and a mistress. And the reason is, your wife will be afraid to ask if you are spending time with your mistress and your mistress will know that of course you have to spend some time with your wife. Which means you can spend your time doing mathematics!"

Source: Joel Cohen, http://bigthink.com/ideas/19346

Who needs all of this education, anyway?

This is the big joke played upon you:

"Higher education is even more susceptible to the law of diminishing returns than most fields. Every extra year of higher education costs you more in terms of foregone income in return for less in terms of added value"

I know. It's not funny. For you! But...

"PhD programmes are life-enhancers for professors: they give them acolytes to massage their egos and relieve them of undergraduate teaching while also doing much of their research for them. But they teach you less than you could have learned on the job and a PhD may leave you unemployable. There are far better things to do with your 20s than acquiring yet more letters after your name."

Full text at: http://moreintelligentlife.com/node/3829

Scientific Process - Perceived vs Actual

So true...

MAY 4, 2011 BY PAUL VALLETT

Good advice

Advisers are there to remind you that a PhD is not easy.
"But all you need to do is to believe in yourself, make a plan, and go through with it."
See:
http://youtu.be/8rDgE9d3GXE

The illustrated guide to a Ph.D.

By Matt Might

http://matt.might.net/articles/phd-school-in-pictures/

Clash of the (Academic) Titans (2010)

Spyros, department janitor speaks to undergrad students about the faculty - or, as he calls them, the gods.

Spyros: One day, somebody's got to make a stand. One day, somebody's got to say enough...

Cassiopeia, undergraduate student in the student government says:

Cassiopeia: The gods need *us*! They need our prayers! What do *we* need the gods for?

Hearing of the stirring riot, Zeus, the director of the research center conjures his faculty:

Zeus: They need to be reminded of the order of things...

And the faculty started requesting students to make slides, perform dead-end useless tedious experiments, and write grant proposals that would only bear the name of the faculty.

Perseus, research assistant phd student (a.k.a. demi-god) says to the gods:

Perseus: I'm not one of you! I'd rather die than stand alongside you!

And Perseus organizes the students, and starts a graduate student union to fight for student rights. Meanwhile, unexpected news come: Perseus' paper was accepted to the top journal of his field.

Zeus, responds:

Zeus: You may not wish to be a god, but after what you've done hundreds will worship you. Look after them. Treat them better than we could. And if you insist on continuing this mundane human existence, I'll not have you do it alone. You're the son of Zeus, after all!

Calibos, before quitting grad school, responds to Zeus' invite to Perseus to continue associated with the research center:

[last words]
Calibos: Perseus... don't become like them.
[falls down a chasm]

Will Perseus graduate and take his place in Olympus, or will he live as a mortal amongst the humans? Will he write the grant proposal?

Source: IMDB's memorable quotes