Good advice

Advisers are there to remind you that a PhD is not easy.
"But all you need to do is to believe in yourself, make a plan, and go through with it."
See:
http://youtu.be/8rDgE9d3GXE

The illustrated guide to a Ph.D.

By Matt Might

http://matt.might.net/articles/phd-school-in-pictures/

Clash of the (Academic) Titans (2010)

Spyros, department janitor speaks to undergrad students about the faculty - or, as he calls them, the gods.

Spyros: One day, somebody's got to make a stand. One day, somebody's got to say enough...

Cassiopeia, undergraduate student in the student government says:

Cassiopeia: The gods need *us*! They need our prayers! What do *we* need the gods for?

Hearing of the stirring riot, Zeus, the director of the research center conjures his faculty:

Zeus: They need to be reminded of the order of things...

And the faculty started requesting students to make slides, perform dead-end useless tedious experiments, and write grant proposals that would only bear the name of the faculty.

Perseus, research assistant phd student (a.k.a. demi-god) says to the gods:

Perseus: I'm not one of you! I'd rather die than stand alongside you!

And Perseus organizes the students, and starts a graduate student union to fight for student rights. Meanwhile, unexpected news come: Perseus' paper was accepted to the top journal of his field.

Zeus, responds:

Zeus: You may not wish to be a god, but after what you've done hundreds will worship you. Look after them. Treat them better than we could. And if you insist on continuing this mundane human existence, I'll not have you do it alone. You're the son of Zeus, after all!

Calibos, before quitting grad school, responds to Zeus' invite to Perseus to continue associated with the research center:

[last words]
Calibos: Perseus... don't become like them.
[falls down a chasm]

Will Perseus graduate and take his place in Olympus, or will he live as a mortal amongst the humans? Will he write the grant proposal?

Source: IMDB's memorable quotes

Work hour limit for grad students

Graduate Research Assistants, PhD Students, Grad Students: International students who are graduate assistants are permitted by the Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS) to be employed for only twenty hours per week during a school term in the United States. The 20-hour limitation policy covers all duties required of a graduate assistant. I'm serious,
Google it!

hahahah This is the best joke I've posted here so far. I think they meant be paid for only twenty hours of the 60-hour work week.

Illegal Work

The Italian government ran a campaign that said: "Illegal work: it is not worth it. Low pay, disrespect and insecurity."
My first reaction was: wow... they made doctorates illegal in Italy. Then, thinking more about it, I realized it was about immigrants taking sub-employment jobs. Then I got jealous. What?! They have all we have and don't even need to sign a contract?! "Bastardos!"

“There is little success where there is little laughter.”
Andrew Carnegie

The Plantation Analogy

"In the whole world, the official science has become an intricate administrative organism
...
On the one side of it – a landlord, a plantation/latifundium owner or something alike, who prefers to be addressed as “professor” or “scientific group leader”. On the other side – a number of volunteering plantation slaves (drudges/plodders/toilers), who are officially dubbed “doctoral students” or “postdocs”. These slaves are absolute volunteers, because nobody forces them at gunpoint to slog for the landlord. The latter ones consider and treat the former ones just as “chess pieces”, each of which has to obey a certain finite number of primitive game rules. Depending on the personality of the landlord, the analogy between the “scientific laboratory” and plantation slavery may be more or less sharp, but the basic features are practically the same in all the countries from USA – through Western Europe and Russia – till the Far East.
...
They definitely know that they are slaves and they are reminded about this fact every day several times a day, for the attitude of the respective landlords and their helpers towards the slaves is unequivocal.
...
The only master and profiteer in the whole plantation is the respective landlord – his/her direct profit is the social success exclusively for him/her – he/she will never share it with anybody. There is practically no scientific research in the plantations, no clear-cut programme, no knowledge mining, no sensible, useful results..."
http://www.scienceblog.com/cms/blog/9293-globalization-and-scientific-research-trying-catch-black-cats-dark-rooms.html